Midnight Mutterings | Near misses

But first: Old news Pop Quiz: What do Mick Jagger and Rupert Murdoch have in common?
Answer is at the end of this column if you get that far.**

Ah, the near misses of our lives. Of course some of them are tragic, in that it would have been wonderful had they been completed. Here I’m talking about the ones that are just generally disappointing until somehow they get turned around and end OK, even if not spectacularly. Like missing a bus, and standing in the rain only to be picked up and given a ride to the intended location by a passing acquaintance.

Then some are tragic, as in, meeting one’s possible true love who happens to be engaged to someone else and honors that someone else by marrying. Or a physical accident actually happens with disastrous consequences.

And I’m not really talking about hurt feelings and broken hearts or even missed opportunities. What I’m talking about here is the magnificent relief that occurs when the mild inconvenience is averted and all that happens after that is a long exhale. And when one of these high emotion events is averted and one is left with stunned relief and drying sweat. A near miss can happen with something as passing and insignificant as a temporarily lost cell phone. That’s what happened to me tonight.

Just getting dark. My son Jay and our two cats, Molly and Rose, have been visiting for a few days from Bellingham, where they live and are leaving tomorrow after we finish cleaning up the house on the beach where we have been staying for the visit. Someone else is coming in after we leave. We are both tired after a day of near misses (Rose runs away and is gone for hours. We know she knows the way back to the house, but don’t know if she will return in time for Jay and Molly need to leave for the ferry. Molly, on the other hand has disappeared inside the house. We’re pretty sure she’ll show up in time, but we’d like to know where she is. Meanwhile, we’re tired and hungry and not so interested in getting organized for vacating the house, with the laundry, finishing up the food but still having enough for breakfast before Jay and the Cats depart. Small stuff. But where’s my phone? In addition where’s the charger for my watch, needed soon for an almost dead battery? And where’s my jacket which might have my phone in a pocket? And why haven’t I paid the Wifi bill when it’s Friday night and the shop is closed for the week end. Of course I could use my phone for a not so great Wifi, if I knew where it is?

All this would be a lot easier if I hadn’t forgotten that tonight is the night I write this column every two weeks. Of course I hadn’t made a plan about what to write about what with the runaway cat, lost phone and watch charger. And are we really going to have that soup we’re been eating for two days again tonight? And listen to that noise? Yep it’s raining. Hard. And where’s my jacket that might have a cell phone in the pocket?

All minor things for sure. Annoying, but not tragic. Will the rain encourage Rose to return to the dry house, or will she hide somewhere dry outside? Yes, Jay has a phone and yes he’s tried to call my phone, which makes my watch vibrate, but we don’t hear my phone ringing. Was I wearing my jacket with the phone in the pocket when I was weed whacking in the garden by the beach? And got too hot and took it off? Could it be there?

Yes it is. A bit wet. Phone in pocket dry but with a low battery. Molly emerged from the linen closet. Rose returned in a bad mood when she realized Molly had eaten her dinner. I remembered to write this column, found the watch charger, ate the soup which was still pretty good. So what I had were a lot of insignificant near misses? My relief is nevertheless enormous. Some decades ago, I lived on Waldron Island, when the critical things I had to remember were to have batteries for my small flashlight (which I could hold in my mouth and -have my hands free. My co-teacher and I had identical flashlights but we could tell them apart by the bite patterns. The other thing was to have a supply of those big wooden matches in a waterproof container on me at all times. My essential tech between freezing and starving.

Of course I was younger and stronger then, with different priorities. And my memory better and my near misses were different. Still, the relief when the misses were misses was the same even if the technology was simpler.

**Answer: Mick Jagger and Rupert Murdoch were both married to former model Jerry Hall. She and Mick were together a long time and had a small flock of children. After six years, Rupert Murdock dumped Jerry Hall for a younger woman who became his fifth wife when he was 94. Ah youth.

4th paragraph last line: delete ‘sheer’ and replace with ‘a long exhale’

and 4th paragraph: take out ‘is as’ replace with ‘and’