||| MIDNIGHT MUTTERINGS by JACKIE BATES |||
While I vowed not to write political stuff here some time ago, I never said I wouldn’t copy someone else’s words. And so I am bringing you none other than Andy Borowitz, whom many of you know from his columns in the New Yorker for more than twenty five years. Some time in 2023, The Borowitz Report was dropped by the New Yorker for reasons unclear to me. (Reportedly for financial reasons. Can that really be true?)
In any case he now publishes in Substack, online, where this piece appeared. If you would rather read the original, you can do it here and then stay up all night reading more of Borowitz’ genius:
One advantage of reading from the original is that you can read the comments and even comment on your own.
Of course you could comment here, even though we would know who you are and might engage you in debate next time we run into you in the market. Or just read the copy here and have time left over to spend some quality time with your dog, who wisely agrees with you on all matters.
(Note: I have not suggested that you spend quality time with your cat as all cats are registered Republicans and aren’t interested in your opinions even when you are in agreement.)
And here it is, at last:
https://www.borowitzreport.
And here, also at last, is the copy:
“WASHINGTON—Arguing that age has dimmed Donald J. Trump’s ability to lie, former congressman George Santos proposed on Monday that he supplant the former president atop the GOP ticket.
“Over the course of his career, President Trump has produced an impressive array of falsehoods,” Santos said. “But now is the time to pass the torch to a new generation of liars.”
Santos said that, although Trump spewed a continuous stream of whoppers during his debate with President Biden, “From the earliest moments, it became worryingly obvious that he is no longer the liar he once was.”
“According to fact-checkers, Trump lied 30 times during the debate,” he said. “I could’ve done 60.”
Santos said he was “saddened” to issue his assessment of Trump’s decline, but added, “As a board-certified neurologist I had no choice.”
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HA !! Also, however, I take exception to your contention that all cats are registered Republicans. I can assure you that my cats are unregistered independents (but, you are right, are uninterested in your opinions or mine or whatever we might say about them).