Sun Days on Orcas | Meet Jay Sack

||| SUN DAYS ON ORCAS by EDEE KULPER |||

Jay Sack

I have known only bits and pieces about Jay Sack over the years – I know he loves basketball and coaches it, I know he and his wife Julia work hard and provide a good life for their children, I know he values politeness and respect, and I know he grew up somewhere else. But I wanted to know more. I felt there was a deep story in there. Wow, do I appreciate him for being so very transparent in opening his life up to readers. Meet Jay Sack, in his words…

What makes me who I am today…

Well, I’d say it starts from a young age, seeing my father beat my mom and put her in the hospital many, many times. Growing up very poor. So first the physical abuse, then the drugs. My mom and dad both used drugs most of their lives. My mom, when I was around 10 or so, started selling drugs. She ended up being a huge distributor of drugs. (Later in life, maybe 2009, my mom found Jesus and quit using and selling altogether). Our house was always the party spot. I had many, many restless nights because of the heavy traffic of drug users in and out of where we lived. Me and my two siblings (that I took care of from a young age, maybe 8 years old) just hid in the shadows, not trying to get caught up in the drug world.

Moving forward a few years, when I was 14 years old my mom finally kicked my dad. So my mom, my siblings, and I moved from California to Washington. We would float back and forth between Washington and California because of my mom’s drug business. I learned to be very street smart and had to fight more than I would have liked to. I was forced to almost be the parent of my mom and siblings. I was the protector.

One of the best things that happened to me was meeting my partner, Julia Savell. I was turning 17 and she was turning 14. She is the one that showed me this island, and that when people lay down to sleep, it means they actually get to rest and sleep. Seventeen years of not really resting or sleeping and finally having that feeling made me see Orcas as a fairy-tale land, like something from a Disney movie.

I was still trying to go to school. When I turned 18, I found out the man I thought was my dad actually wasn’t. (Later in my life, at maybe 28, I actually found my biological dad and learned I have four more sisters and four more brothers.) My mom finally came clean after a huge fist fight I had with the man that was in my life like a father. With the combination of this crazy news and the fact my sister and brother and mom all were doing drugs, I had daily pressure of drugs in my face. Everyone around me was using – crack, coke, and later, meth. To this day, I can look at myself and still be shocked that I’ve never even tried a cigarette, let alone any drugs at all. Only thing keeping me in school was my love of basketball. I dropped out of school in 12th grade. I felt like I couldn’t protect my family, being gone all day.

When I was 21, I helped my mom buy a house, as I had great credit from working side jobs and slowly building credit with credit cards I had acquired. So now Julia and I had a great opportunity to buy a commercial laundry business on Orcas. With help from her family, we took the plunge and purchased it. Julia was at the time roughly 18; I was 21 or so. We were young and driven. So we took on this business that requires year-round attention, no true days off. We bought a house on Orcas shortly after, maybe 2003, 2004. We ran the business for 9 years, then just before the economy tanked we sold out of the business and bought a towing company on the island (Eastsound Towing) and ran it for 9 or so years before I was able to acquire my current job at San Juan Sanitation.

So what makes me who I am? A street life, fighting, protecting a drugged-out mom, and a woman (Julia) and her family – who had no idea of my hard young life – taking a chance on me. I am a man of principles – respect, honor, and honesty. For the longest time, I lived my life one day at a time, as I just didn’t know if I or anyone else in my life would be here when I woke up. I now have let go of most of that anxiety. I try to treat everyone with “some respect,” even if they show me none. I want to be the change! To lead by example! This is partly why I coach basketball. First, I love basketball, and second, for some reason I am decent at coaching and relating to people and teaching. I have three kids myself now – my daughter,16; middle son, 14; and youngest son, 8 – and this step in life has been the hardest.

This is the short version of my story, with a final note. I wake up at times scared and happy, all at the same time. I have a sister that is living on the streets, drugged out right now. She will more than likely die on the streets. I could have been that person. I could be hooked on drugs. I wonder all the time how I ended up here so lucky to have been given help and chances. I guess either a guardian angel or just pure luck.