Midnight Mutterings | Curmudgeonly yours: Noise

||| MIDNIGHT MUTTERINGS by JACKIE BATES |||

A friend’s middle school son was taken to a firing range by his father as a birthday gift. My friend, anti-gun like myself, was horrified and ready to assault her former husband, at least with words. However, as her rage cooled, she chose instead to ask her son about the incident. He admitted it was his idea, that he had asked his dad for this particular birthday treat.

My friend, amazed, asked the open ended question: ‘Can you tell me more about that?’ Her son answered, equally calm: ‘I’m a fourteen year old boy. We like things that make noise.’

His answer explained something to me that I’ve never understood: How people can stand loud noises. The answer seems to be not about ‘standing’ noise. It’s apparently about ‘liking’ noise, especially when they are the ones creating said noise. And I suppose youth and hormones are helpful. (And possibly middle age and failing hormones…)

Which leads me to my dread of the upcoming July 4th celebrations. And wondering again whose idea it was to celebrate the anniversary of the birth of a country with noise and why.

I think I knew that fireworks were invented in China a long time ago. But when consulting the internet, I read a new—to me—thing. The origin was not of person-made explosives but, well, read it yourself.

Many historians believe that fireworks originally were developed in the second century B.C. in ancient Liuyang, China. It is believed that the first natural “firecrackers” were bamboo stalks that when thrown in a fire, would explode with a bang because of the overheating of the hollow air pockets in the bamboo.

Really? Bamboo? (Like popcorn?) Well, I lost interest before I found the origin of the complicated colorful displays in the air, which even I will admit are pretty. (Though I think it would be prettier without the explosive noise.)

It was rewarding to read about the legal rules about fireworks in Australia. But you can read that for yourself as well. Just look up ‘Cracker Night,’ and learn something about warnings about what not to put where and when, in addition to the various laws Down Under.

However, about July 4, right here on Orcas Island, where I understand that private citizens are not to be be setting off fireworks of any kind anywhere on the island. (Maybe the county?)

A couple of nights ago someone was jumping the gun breaking the law prematurely here at Obstruction Pass. It was pretty limited, just two or three explosions, but enough to get my attention. I don’t know who or why.

For many decades I have spent the night of July 4 under the bed with the dogs. I don’t actually have dogs, but I imagine many dogs are under the beds in their respective houses.

When I lived in Seattle, my July 4 nights were spent looking for Katie, my neighbor’s St. Bernard who was terrified by fireworks. The first time I was surprised to find myself on foot about a mile from my house in a cemetery at 2:00 AM, long after the fireworks were over, calling ‘Katie, oh Katie!” Her owner, Jean was a home nurse working in Bellevue, and had called me for assistance. I didn’t find Katie that first night, and she did return home on her own a day later, having to explain the broken fence. In subsequent years, Jean arranged to be home on July 4 and we looked for Kate, not on foot, but again in the cemetery in the wee hours, where Katie tried to escape the noise.

More advice: If you haven’t already, check out S. C. Watson’s Occams’ Razor, for June 30, 2023, where he gives us more concrete reasons to object to celebrating with fireworks, much better than my ‘don’t like noise’ whining.

And meanwhile, Happy (even if noisy and polluting) July 4, and even if you celebrate by crawling under the bed with your terrified dog.