Mayoral Candidates Trade Barbs and Brews

— by Susan Anderson for Children’s House —

Dr. Spyder, the Plain Cat

Eastsound Mayoral hopefuls (four dogs and a plain cat) are pulling out all the stops, using chicanery to gain traction in the election. Campaign promises are passé; these animals are offering buttons, beads and bags to voters who slip money into envelopes marked explicitly for them.

Toby, who currently trails in the race, has enlisted the support of big banks to help get a leg up on his competition.

Weighing in at well over 90, the Bernese Mt. Dog says voters get more “pound-for-pound,” with a vote for him and warns of “Pie-in-the-Skye” ideas that can’t be implemented by the Sheltie Pomeranian.

Skye, the Mighty Mutt

Skye counters that his maturity and positive outlook provide a catalyst in politics at a time when voters need hope most.

Toby the Underdog

Meanwhile candidate Hudson has been seen soliciting votes using child labor and capes. His managers say he’s simply tapping the youth culture and his attire demonstrates his ability to match wardrobe to occasion.

Meanwhile, the candidates will face some tough questions from moderator Evan Wagner-Lynch when they take the stage in the first ever Honorary Mayor of Eastsound Debate. Whatever your political affiliation, the event is expected to leave attendees literally buzzing.

Hudson dominates with LOVE

Hosted by The Barnacle, the event will include some special cocktail offers in honor of current candidates, Dr. Spyder, Hudson, Skye, Toby and Tyrone.

Immigration, global warming, heath care and any advance meetings with Russian officials are expected to be high on his list of questions. Join the debate Sun., June 25 at 1 P.M. in the courtyard adjacent to The Barnacle.

The noble Tyrone

The Honorary Mayor of Eastsound race is a fundraiser for Children’s House. Learn more, download the Voter’s Guide and even cast your votes online via www.oich.org.

The election wraps up at 2 P.M. July 1.This race is too close to call!