KEYBOARD CHAOS
By Jens Kruse
The left Shift key on my laptop
stopped working many months ago.
So I began using the right Shift key.
This was annoying and it turned me from
a mediocre typist into a terrible typist.
Then the right Shift key stopped
working, too. But I could get around that
by using the Caps Lock key to capitalize.
Then I realized that the Caps Lock key
does not activate the question mark.
So I stopped using questions
in my writing, rationalizing that
my writing would be more forceful
if I stopped asking questions.
Then I realized that the Caps Lock key
does not activate the colon.
So I stopped using colons
in my writing, rationalizing that
colons are a syntactic crutch
that I do not need.
But I worry [colon] what happens
if certain letters stop working [question mark].
For a while my readers might
be able to fill in the gaps
and understand what
I am trying to say.
But I fear that the time will come
when my writing will descend
into gibberish.
Who knew th t entropy
pplies to the lph bet,
th t l ngu ge will eventually
become me ningless noise
[question m rk].
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Thanks, Jens, for a smile. Very clever.
Jens, have you tried dictating? I dictated this in Microsoft Word. I had to change the capital why 2 a Jay in your name, but otherwise, things went perfectly, as you can see.
The thousands of coders in Seattle and the PNW will love decoding this one! Seriously, thanks for reminding me to have a sense of humor today!
Reminds me of Shel Silverstein’s “I am being swallowed by an alligator ” poem.
Oops boa constrictor..
Why, it lacks just like sommer of my “first drapts”