Midnight Mutterings | News from the Election Recovery Unit

||| MIDNIGHT MUTTERINGS by JACKIE BATES |||

Got admitted to the ER ten days ago, just before midnight, suffering from Wild Disbelief, Broken Brain and Heart and Beyond Depression and have been detained for observation ever since. What I can say about my hospitalization so far: The place is packed with otherwise reasonable people who are suffering the results of the election in profound shock and disappointment. Most say they are felled by unfulfilled expectations and an apparent slippery grasp on reality.

No news of my impending discharge yet. Have to prove I can take care of myself independently and that my long term addiction to political news is in remission on the way to full recovery. Have proved I can manage the second condition (unless the docs see this) and remain hopeful I can prove the first in a week or so after intensive therapy and a low carb diet.

Have been told that I must accept reality and limit myself to reading only fiction and and Shel Silverstein for the foreseeable future.

Here are some comments I have overheard from other patients practicing accepting (or at least trying to accept) reality. Most commonly, trying to look on the bright side, several patients mentioned that it will be comforting to have many of the known sexual predators geographically gathered in one place: notably the White House and the Supreme Court. If confirmed, Matt Gaetz will be Attorney General. At least he is familiar with the job having been under investigation by the House Ethics committee for sexual misconduct and illicit drug use. Now add Fox News’ Pete Hegseth for Secretary of Defense, with his own cloud of sexual misbehavior, not to mention total lack of experience in defense.

Then there is President Elect Trump’s stated choice for Secretary of State: Marco Rubio, which seems almost normal compared to other choices for the cabinet. Both men seem to have forgotten that Trump called him ‘Little Marco’ in the run up to Trump’s party nomination for his first presidential election. Wags have suggested Trump was referring to Rubio’s personal anatomy, as compared to that of Arnold Palmer, whose attributes Trump recently praised totally out of context, in what Trump calls ‘weaving’ and others call ‘rambling’ or worse.

Think Robert Kennedy, Jr., for Secretary of Health and Human Services. My goodness, that’s a scary one. At least we can be assured the next pandemic won’t include all those annoying vaccines and even more than a million of us can die without painful intervention by the government. Kennedy’s third wife is Cheryl Hines, who plays Larry David’s wife in Curb Your Enthusiasm. Some time ago I saw she was quoted as saying that she and her real life husband don’t always agree on politics, but they love each other. She has been quiet, as far as I know, lately, while Bobby Jr. is riding a high political wave and scaring me spitless. I really don’t want him in charge of my or anybody else’s healthcare, particularly that of a whole nation. Just look up what the Department of Health and Human Services includes. (Hint: Almost everything about our daily lives besides poodle grooming and rock skipping.)

Seems like Trump made enough dangerous medical suggestions (think bleach) during his last time in office, even with Dr. Anthony Fauci trying to rein him in. Now, with Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., and both men’s absolute lack of any medical training or experience, or any sense of logic…

OK, I have to stop now or I’ll never be discharged from the newly formed ER, having violated the no-political-news reading rule and upping my crime by writing about it here. Am wondering how to submit this to Lin, now that all my tech devices have been secured by Nurse Ratched, the newly appointed director of the newly formed Election Recovery Emergency Medical Unit.

So Lin, pick up your tin can and we’ll make the string tight and I’ll read this into my can and we can get it posted unless you think it wiser to do no such thing. Or maybe I’ll get discharged along with my laptop by midnight. Love, Jackie

PS: I’ve been reading a really interesting nonfiction book I had planned to write about before my recent incarceration. Maybe next time…