||| FROM DANIEL H. GOTTLIEB |||
Due to the frequency and intensity of the ongoing personal, professional, ethical (or lack of same) attacks, propagandistic blasts of emotion, or tantrums we present this generic attack form for you to use to attack your favorite target-group.
Instructions: Please fill in the blanks with the options. Add the appropriate phrase from the list of choices, or add your own. Be creative!
Generic Form begins—
(Choose one phrase for each blank)
The ____________________
- Eastsound Water Board
- The Ferry System
- The Dominant Board
- The Minority Board
- The San Juan County Council
- Orcas Power and Light
- The Fire Dept
Over the last few months have________________
- Lied
- Cheated
- Not left a tip at my restaurant
- Attacked
- Defrauded
- Stole
- Caused me grief by being hours late
- Hid key facts
- Slandered a great American
- Caused commotions at meetings
Moreover, they have ignored ______________________
- The truth
- The members of Eastsound Water
- The citizens of Orcas
- The business community
- Facts
- The report from the auditor
- Roberts Rules of Order
- Countless emails
- Countless requests
They did this because_____________________
- Of a quest for power
- Ego
- An unflinching pursuit of wealth
- Fear of being exposed
- Unrelenting nihilistic tendencies
- A psychotic need to put idiotic sandwich boards everywhere
- ADHD
- Island boredom
- A need to bring the worst of the mainland to the islands
In an attempt to __________________________
- Bankrupt
- Vilify
- Explain
- Extort
- Extol
- Extricate
- Take over
- Bully
- Propagate lies
- Hide the truth
- Defend the indefensible
- Demean those they do not agree with
- Strike fear into the souls of the uninformed
Our institution_______________
- Eastsound Water
- The Dominant Board
- The Minority Board
- The Ferry System
- San Juan County
- Friends of the San Juan Islands
- OPALCO
- The Fire Dept
Urges you to_____________
- Trust us
- Strike
- Protest
- Vote
- Don’t vote
- Fight
- Rollover
- Speak
- Sleep
- Bark
So please support our cause because________________
- We are secretly supported by a for profit water company
- They are secretly supported by a for profit water company
- We tell the truth
- We bake good cookies
- We are volunteers that are here for you
- We are volunteers to advance our individual goals
- We have no idea what is really happening
- We are long time islanders—trust us
- What checks?
In closing we want to thank__________________
- The Orcasonian
- The Board
- The staff
- The volunteers
- Any islanders who agree with us
- The US Post Office in Idaho
**If you are reading theOrcasonian for free, thank your fellow islanders. If you would like to support theOrcasonian CLICK HERE to set your modestly-priced, voluntary subscription. Otherwise, no worries; we’re happy to share with you.**
Well done Mr Gottlieb.
outstanding sir! thx
Brilliant. Perhaps even as handy, and way more creative, than the HFT ( hurt feelings report).
Love it.
Hilarious!
It’s great to see what boards or commissions have NOT made this astute list. Since Orcas is such a caring/sharing community, those not making the current list will be able to get back in line to reclaim their positions.
This could not have been better written. Congrats, Mr. Gottlieb. Keep writing.
Maybe add tourists to the list? Watch out, this list could go viral!
This had me in stitches… well done, and just what we needed at this juncture. May it be ever-expanded, and beat Covid in its viral-ity!
Thank you for a few smiles!