By Margie Doyle

It’s ironic that our extended family in the Seattle Bellevue area rarely comes to visit us on Orcas Island — the drive, the ferry, they say in making their regrets. And in our non-retired household, we work, so entertainment of our guests comes at a premium.

Still, we are always happy to see Matthew, the youngest brother of our high school friend Robbie. Their mom was a kind of den mother to us teenagers and young adults. Although she was a young widow and wasn’t wealthy, she invested in having a pool built outside her Kirkland home so she could keep an eye on her boys and their friends. In the long run, it was less expensive than even civic pools or drives to beaches, and what it brought her in peace of mind and fun, for she truly liked kids, was invaluable.

Matthew was my kids’ hero when were children, a generation ago, for he worked at Vernell’s Candy Factory and often brought home treats. That was a career to aspire to.

Nowadays, Matthew comes to Orcas to hunt deer. He hunts with a bow and arrow, and the last time he bagged a deer was probably over six years ago. It is clear that he enjoys the hiking, the tracking, the silence and the mists and being one with nature as much as any game or trophy. It cracks me up that his hunting day last week was ruined, when, outfitted in his camouflage hunting gear, he had to participate in a business conference call by cell phone up on Buck Mountain.

Matthew’s wife was a policewoman, a city manager and a retail store owner in their home in the Cascade foothills east of Bellevue. They have two married daughters and four little grandkids, whom they live for.

And they have guns.

Matthew was, like all of us, grief-stricken by the horrible news of the school murders on Friday, but beyond sad, he was outraged, beside himself with anger. His political commentary — the way we determine our policies on guns —  ran like this:

1) The liberals and conservatives won’t budge one way or the other to address these public massacres because BOTH sides see ANY agreement as the first step in an inevitable march towards the total failure of their positions. And so both positions fail because we say nothing is worse than your political opponent’s success;

2) A step towards preventing another Newtown is a Universal Gun Lock Law, where all guns are required to be locked up and fines or confiscation are the enforced penalty.

How could such a law be enacted and applied? Well, how was gas emissions testing enacted? How did seat belt use and liquor identification become law? How are children registered in school? By establishing and monitoring systems of regulation and monitoring.

Okay let’s punch holes in his idea:

1) Many guns are sold at gun shows and not registered. Response: Gun show vendors could be required to obtain verifiable identification and registration information before being allowed to sell; show sponsors will be required to monitor the show’s vendors.

2) It won’t make any difference in those that already illegally have, and use guns. Response: Every action has a consequence — demonstrating that we will take action to protect our families and neighbors from violence will protect, rather than endanger, those we care for.

3)  Who will enforce that guns are locked up safely? Response: who enforces that you don’t have nail clippers or more than 4 ounces of fluid when we board planes?

The list of arguments can be endless, and Matthew’s proposition disregards the collateral problems of mental illness and pursuit of violence in our culture that contributes to this horrible response from the troubled and criminal. But change is needed and change happens incrementally: we turn from fear of standing armies to the largest military force within 30 years, from 1935 to 1965; we adopt mobile phones and neglect “land” telephone lines; we put signs on cigarette packs and fine tobacco companies. And change happens.

We have changed from a blithe land of the free and home of the brave to a land of the fearful and home of the violent.

Or we can find agreement among Matthew’s ideas, and other good ideas offered.  When I asked Matthew, “Why doesn’t your local politician take up your idea?” Matthew thought I was being sarcastic. So I added, “I mean, why can’t a good idea like that get a head of steam, get popular support to demand that it be implemented?”

Matthew, still in his hunting gear, said, “Hey maybe that IS a good idea — I just came up with it!”And maybe from putting his idea forward, a better idea will come about.  Ultimately, the  hope is that such ideas will lead to behaviors that truly change our culture of violence and retribution to one of activity, compassion and cultivation.

Let’s get real trite: Rome wasn’t built in a day. But it WAS built every day, measurement by measurement, stone by stone, law by law.

We owe it to each other, and to our most vulnerable, to move beyond our bottomless grief.

Print Friendly, PDF & Email