Editorial | Anybody know the steps to this new dance?

— by Lin McNulty, Orcas Issues editor —

So, say you’ve been going weekly, or perhaps monthly, to the same dance at your local club; you’ve been doing the dance for years and have perfected the waltz. You have developed the perfect sway and rhythm to this all-familiar waltz. It’s wonderful, it’s accepted, and anyone who is anyone is able to step onto the dance floor and move rhythmically to the same tune. It’s such a beautiful spectacle that sometimes people just come to watch.

Then one day, in the middle of that familiar 3/4 rhythm, the music switches to something loud and unfamiliar; the hall fills with with dancers in poodle skirts and everybody is twisting around in unimaginable contortions. It is nearly impossible to get off the floor in time to avoid a collision.

But it is obvious that this new dance is not simply a cake walk. There are rules. And you don’t know what they are. You did hear someone mention that poodle skirts are now required, and you know full well you don’t have one.

That’s where we find ourselves. Yes, it’s now permissible for us to head back to the proverbial dance hall, but don’t think for a minute that we are just going to waltz into familiar territory.

We may find ourselves dressed appropriately (if we can dig up a poodle skirt from somewhere, or perhaps a face mask), but there’s still the question of the steps required to move about and avoid touching someone. We must keep a six-foot distance from each and every dancer.

I’m afraid I may allemande left or link arms or join or touch hands. But if we are going to go out, it’s imperative that we learn the steps. Does anybody really know how to do this? It’s no longer simply 1 – 2 – 3, 1 – 2 – 3, it seems…