||| ADRIFT BY LIN MCNULTY |||
I never learned how to scream, nor did I realize that it was important that I do so. And, of course, as I often learned from my father, a kidnapper (or rapist, or pretty much any man) would turn me loose as soon as we were under a street light, a gut punch that let me know I wasn’t good enough to keep.
Growing up, it was, of course, expected that girls would scream, I guess. And there was no doubt some sort of screaming, or rather perhaps, yelling and, of course, laughing and giggling when the girls in my neighborhood would play outside. Not that it was required training or a goal that would some day save your life if you could scream, but I guess that boys and/or men perhaps just naturally expect that a girl will scream if in trouble. It’s what girls do, apparently having no other option.
Whether that would be a signal that she was in danger and needed help, or whether she was just having fun, as Cyndi Lauper tells us that’s what girls want – to have fun.
And, besides, if you were subjected to little girls screaming all day, what might indicate when that scream is all in fun, or if she may actually be in danger. I don’t remember screaming — that shrill vibration that will either alert someone if you are in danger, or let a witness know that you are having loads of fun. I don’t know the difference in those sounds, or even how to fake it.
I knew many Vietnam veterans who found it difficult to be around a group of screaming girls. I think girls from other countries scream more.
When I was a 911 Dispatcher, I once sent officers — from two different departments — in search of a woman screaming for help in a very large field. And of course, it was dark. It took officers perhaps an hour of searching in that field to locate the sheep that was making the noise.
I think that the closest I ever came to screaming was as a Seahawks season ticket holder. I could yell like hell, but not really anything close to a scream.
What is a scream, anyway? Which definition would alert you to someone in distress? Would you think that the scream indicated extreme emotion or pain, or would you think that it would indicate a laugh in a noisy, gleeful way?
When Donald Trump’s attorney asked E. Jean Carroll, in her recent civil suit alleging Trump raped her, if she screamed, she responded with a “no,” that she is not a screamer. That seemed to be a shocking realization to many. And, it seems, to the defense lawyer may have even thought he won the case with that public reveal of no screaming. Do we just assume that a female being raped would naturally scream for help? It ain’t necessarily so.
I recall that Melinda Milligan, a few years back, was organizing a session on how to scream for a local actress who needed to display that little-used catterwaul for her role in a play.
See! I’m not alone!
As yet another woman who never learned to scream, I thank you from the deepest parts of me.
No, Lin, you aren’t alone. I can’t recall a time in all my years that I have screamed, and am not really sure that I know how. Guess I’m not a screamer either.
I’ve never been able to scream. I was teased by boy playmates because the most I could do was “awk!” In dreams my screams get stuck in my throat. Glad to read I’m not alone in this.
There was some ‘scream training’ going on in the seventies, at least in California, when Primal Screaming was in vogue for post-trauma mental health treatment .I didn’t participate in that and don’t recall I’ve ever screamed or even tried to scream as an adult. Or even earlier. I have tried to scream occasionally in a dream, but best the I have ever done is a wake up squeak. Even my attempts at shouting (when it seemed necessary for the safety of others) have been pathetic. I attended a play recently in which a woman (never seen) was screaming in childbirth. I was so impressed by the actor’s ability. Yes, let’s hear if for screaming! Thank you Lin.