Uncle Harry’s 2016 Predictions

—Via ‘Honest Harry’ Patton, Raconteur—Wordsmith—Humorist —

Harry Patton on a formal occasion

Having contemplated Orcas Issues’ recent list of 2016 Predictions, it is felt that some significant ones have not yet been addressed; ones that occasionally have a bearing, or are of interest in some way, to each of our personal lives.

So the following additional predictions are set forth for your perusal and evaluation, to form your own opinion as to whether or not, they will actually occur. As you shall see, and it is emphasized, that these coming events have been logically predicted to take place, based, naturally, on CW (Conventional Wisdom), reality, hope for the future, and, occasionally, in desperation, a flip of the coin.

And here are the predictions:

1. First, Issues has predicted that after the election Clinton will select Rankin to her Cabinet. This will not occur. He is presently somewhat influential in our State and will remain at his post. The Honorable Mrs. Clinton, having, fortunately, completed her political moments in time, will quietly retire to the Canary Islands, and buy a new email Cell phone.

2. Appropriately, our Washington State flag will be redesigned to include a large number 12 in the center. GO, Seahawks!

3. The Prune Alley modification will be completed in a hamlet-style mode which fits into our rural easy-going island design. We don’t wish to look like Martha’s Vineyard . . . .

4. On Saint Patrick’s Day a growing throng of islanders will suddenly, just for the fun of it, become Irish for a day, and march in the Eastsound parade, throwing Shamrocks! Then all will proceed to the Pub, raise flagons on high, and enjoy Tony Lee’s soulful Irish ballads.

5. On April 1st, an important date, Hilton Hotels will commence construction of a 400-room hotel on Cascade Lake. This will help ease our existing housing shortage problem. Renderings may be observed on www.https://aprilfoolubeenhad.org.

6. Unhappily, the New England Patriots will commence inflating their footballs to the proper pressure prescribed by the National Football League.

7. The Washington State DOT, in conjunction with the Washington State Ferry System, will commence the long awaited for reconstruction of the Friday Harbor Ferry Terminal. A second ferry slip will be installed, and all the buildings on the large block adjacent to the waterfront will be razed and removed to provide a 20-acre parking facility for ferry cars.

Your comments are requested and will be appreciated.