||| FROM SOMEONE ON THE INTERNET WHOSE IDENTITY REMAINS AN AMUSING MYSTERY |||
  1. The dumbest thing I ever bought was a 2020 planner.
  2. 2019: Stay away from negative people. 2020: Stay away from positive people.
  3. The world has turned upside down. Old folks are sneaking out of the house and their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors.
  4. This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her dog. It was obvious she thought her dog understood her. I came into my house and told my cat. We laughed a lot.
  5. Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.
  6. Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands?
  7. This virus has done what no woman has been able to do. Cancel sports, shut down all bars and keep men at home.
  8. I never thought the comment, “I wouldn’t touch him/her with a six-foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are.
  9. I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.
  10. I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to the Backyard. I’m getting tired of the Living Room.
  11. Appropriate analogy. “The curve is flattening so we can start lifting restrictions now” is like saying “The parachute has slowed our rate of descent, so we can take it off now.”
  12. Never in a million years could I have imagined I would go up to a bank teller wearing a mask and asking for money.
  13. The spread of COVID-19 is based on two things:
    • How dense the population is.
    • How dense the population is.
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