As the Paradigm Shifts | Am I doing Christmas, or being Christmas?

||| AS THE PARADIGM SHIFTS by ROSIE KUHN |||

I find myself in a dilemma. I love when Christmas rolls around. I watch countless Christmas movies and look forward to dinners with friends. I’ve been knitting a Christmas sweater for weeks, hoping I’ll finish it in time, and I enjoy attending holiday events on the Island. I also love painting whimsical Christmas scenes, like the one pictured above. But when it comes to decorating my tiny home, I feel a surprising sense of resistance.

Part of this reluctance is practical: my home is very small and can feel cluttered within minutes if I don’t tidy up—putting away shoes, folding blankets, and so forth. With limited space and few decorative items, adding Christmas ornaments feels like I’m inviting chaos rather than holiday cheer.

There’s also my cat, Lucy. Even a small tree would pique her curiosity, and I can already picture the tree on the floor, shattered ornaments scattered about, and Lucy tangled in strings of lights.

There’s another element at play, too. While I embrace the spirit of Christmas in many ways, not decorating means I’m not reconnecting with the childhood part of me that believed in wishes coming true. By not decorating, I protect myself from the disappointment of unfulfilled wishes. And when the decorations eventually come down, I avoid that deflated feeling often felt after a special time has passed.

Am I doing Christmas, or am I being Christmas?
I know myself well enough to recognize that I won’t let this avoidance go unchecked. I want to experience the generosity of spirit that the holiday season brings. More than that, I want it to continue throughout the days, months, and years ahead. I’m committed to examining the nooks and crannies of my psyche to uncover old stories that keep me “doing” Christmas instead of “being” Christmas. I ask myself: What do I want to feel through Christmas, and long after the decorations are packed away? What fear or disappointment am I guarding against?

The painting above helps answer these questions. It symbolizes something profound that occurs within each of us when we give. There’s a kind of alchemy in our hearts as we imagine our loved ones and sense the gifts that want to flow through us to them. Our imagination sparks, and we delight in the process of discovering the perfect offering. Despite the stresses of shopping, I’m certain most of us feel that wonder and joy when we engage in true gift-giving.

This heart-to-heart connection is what Christmas is truly about. Regardless of the gift’s outcome—whether it’s loved or not, or even if there’s no gift at all—when we allow ourselves to fully experience the essence of giving and receiving, something magical happens. Our world changes, at least within ourselves. This feeling is what I long for, and I don’t want it to fade once Christmas is over.

Recognizing the Gift of the Giver as a Conduit of Divine Expression
A few weeks ago, I spent time with my daughter in Alberta, Canada, celebrating an early Christmas. She asked what I wanted, and since she currently lives in Italy, I said I’d love some special Italian glassware for my everyday use. She sent me a picture of a whimsical glass mug with a squirrel perched on the handle—absolutely perfect. But she worried it might not survive the journey back to Canada. Still, the thought itself sparked joy in my heart. The true gift was knowing she saw what would delight me.

Later, as I prepared to leave for the airport, she mentioned wanting to attend a yoga class with a friend at the same time I needed to depart. I suggested I take an Uber so she could go. Her happiness was immediate and genuine: “Thank you, Mom. That’s the best present you could give me!”

In both these moments—her thoughtful gift idea and my flexibility—something deeper was present. It was a state of being, a kind of sustaining awareness we shared. I want to cultivate that presence everywhere, always. It’s not just a hope; it’s a truth that lives within each of us, forging heart connections with everyone and everything.

This is my intention for Christmas: to hold on to this truth and let it express itself through me every day. I know you, too, recognize the experiences of the season that spark joy in your heart and the hearts of those you love. May you be blessed to truly experience the delight of this alchemy within you—always and everywhere.

May this Christmas—and every day—bring you closer to this sustaining presence of being, this joyful alchemy of giving and receiving, and the heartfelt connection that makes life so beautifully whole.