— by Rosie Kuhn —
We are affected by people’s death more than we know. We are often surprised, even though we know that everybody dies. And often we experience regrets and guilt for not engaging more with the deceased while they were alive.
Anytime I hear about someone’s passing I’m moved to experience the reality that every one of us dies. Compassion, reverence, and significance of each person’s presence on this planet brings a moment of awareness, if you will. It brings emotions and thoughts, grief, regrets, sometimes anger, and feelings of powerlessness. Even though I hadn’t really been connected with my friend Kenneth for the past four years, when he died, I still experienced regret that I hadn’t connected with him more. In a previous post I mentioned others who experienced guilt for not connecting and participating more in the other person’s life.
It’s a fascinating process — living with dying. Living with other’s dying and our own dying. Each of us do it our own way. Most of us live in denial, distraction, ignorance and avoidance of the whole death issue until none of that works anymore.
When I got the call that my friend Kenneth had died, and that I was on his list of alternatives for power of attorney, I didn’t know how to respond. If told that I’d have to act on his behalf, making funeral arrangements and the like, I wouldn’t have known where to start.
I think of all the people who face the death of their loved ones and have to immediately put their grief on hold, get everything in place, from calling people, getting the body moved, cremation or burial arrangements — way too much for someone who is in grief. Hell! Like I said, I wouldn’t have known where to start with Kenneth if I had to step in.
This put me on the path of researching, “What to do when people die.” And I found information that fascinated me, like: did you know you can have home funerals and totally bypass funeral homes?
So, people’s deaths affect us in all sorts of ways. Aging like a guru allows us to think about death as part of life. And perhaps dying like a guru is part of this path (Yes, this could be one of my next books!). Engaging in life fully, bypassing the fear and angst that interferes with living with every aspect of life — including death, is what we are here to do, only if we wish to. We all do life and death in our own unique way. Fun. Right?
For more blogs, books, videos, or if you are interested in coaching or training with Dr. Rosie, check out her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com. And her podcasts can be found at aginglikeaguru.podbean.com, and at spiritualimmersion.podbean.com. The book Aging Like a Guru – Who Me? and Dr. Rosie’s other books are available at Darvill’s Bookstore, the Cottage Gift Shop, and Amazon.
POA dies with the person. A POA after Kenneth died means nothing.