Aging Like a Guru | All habits die hard

— from Rosie Kuhn —

Yesterday, my coaching session with my client Holly brought up some important stuff in her life and in mine – and inadvertently perhaps, in yours! It’s enough to say that, quite often, we habitually be and do things based on principles that aren’t the ones we really want to live by!

Let me explain: Last night I had a dream. I was a facilitator of a retreat. The participants were busy doing what is theirs to do. What was I doing while the participants are doing their thing? I was frustrated, impatient, and anxious. 

When I woke up from this dream, I felt frustrated, anxious, and impatient — as if I were still in the dream. I see myself being this and wonder, “What’s that about?” When I “analyze” the dream, I see that it’s not useful to the participants for me to be in this irritable state. It’s not useful to me either.  I realize that these qualities of being are just a habit, and it is where I’ve spent the majority of my life’s energy. Even while on vacation I’m rarely experiencing serenity and peace. I realize that this is one of those moments where I must begin again to walk my talk: to be the peace I want to see in the world.

This morning, as part of my quiet time, exploring this dream and my habits of anxious, frustrated impatience, I was able to create a space beyond that habituated experience. I created a treehouse in my mind with a door in the floor. I crawled up through the door in the floor, gentle closed that door and gave myself a safe nest of solitude and serenity.

I had to be intent in focusing my attention on staying in my treehouse, and in this state of being serene and in peace. My mind wanted to attend to people, places, and things outside of the sanctuary I’d created for myself. I had to remind myself over and over again that I’m on Earth to bring myself to Wholeness. In so doing, I become a reference point for others to do the same. I know this to be true: If I’m not living in what I know to be true, then how can I expect others (like my clients) to do it?

Today is Sunday and I can relax and enjoy some time doing what I love to do: paint, walk, take naps, . . . whatever I want! And, I am sure that I will have to focus my attention on staying in a place where I don’t allow anxious, frustrated impatience to control me. If I don’t do it, it’s unlikely that you will do it. And if you won’t do it, it’s unlikely that people you know will do it. So, life inevitably will stay the same, and I know, at least for me, that friction caused by my own impatience, frustration and anxiety will cause me far more harm than good. And it certainly doesn’t serve the people I love and play with.

Consciously choosing to be a reference point for others does take focused intent. What does your inner guru have to say about this?

For more blogs, books, videos, or if you are interested in coaching or training with Dr. Rosie, check out her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com. And her podcast can be found at aginglikeaguru.podbean.com. The book Aging Like a Guru – Who Me? and Dr. Rosie’s other books are available at Darvill’s Bookstore, the Cottage Gift Shop, and Amazon.