Aging isn’t about aging … What?

— from Rosie Kuhn —

“Be yourself – everyone else is already taken,” . . . ever hear that quote before?

My friends David Bennett and Cindy Griffith-Bennett wrote a book called Voyage of Purpose. I’m on my third read of this book. The stories of David’s Near-Death Experience and the unfolding processes he grew through over the years always awakens something in me that I hadn’t heard in the previous read. I find that there are some books that stay on my bookshelf – the ones nearest to my attention, so I can continue to pull the wisdom to me over and over again. Voyage of Purpose is one of those books for me. In Voyage of Purpose, David quotes Joseph Campbell. “Where there is a way or a path, it’s someone else’s way…. I have a theory that if you are on your own path things are going to come to you. Since it’s your own path, and no one has ever been on it before, there is no precedent, so everything that happens is a surprise and is timely.” (Campbell, 1991)

If you are open to considering the truth of these words, or if you know this to be true, and you practicing living into this, I believe this is where miracles happen. I know it is for me. I titled this article Aging Isn’t About Aging – What?. Aging, like any other context or life is about letting go of what others have said and done before you. It requires thinking for yourself and deferring to no one else.

Anita Moorjani, David Bennett and thousands of individuals who experienced Spiritually Transformative Experiences, which include Near-Death Experiences, share that life on Earth is a unique experience for each of us. We are here to discover our own unique path – that road less traveled, as Scott Peck writes about.

I’ve taken the road less traveled myself, and as challenging as it has been, the surprises that are for me, and are mine alone, are so worth it!

If we look at aging from the perspective of our consensus reality, we see the path well-worn and littered with beliefs and judgements focused on the inevitable dependency on the medical, insurance, and pharmaceutical support — ‘till death do us part.’ This is a path that most of us will walk because we are told this is the only path there is. So many of us are afraid to stray from this path, and so we limit our awareness and our choice-making to only this.

A long time Orcas Islander, Emily, who lived to be close to 100, shared with her friend Barbara, “Don’t ever take the path of pharmaceuticals — it will kill you!” I was fascinated by this statement and so appreciated Emily’s clarity and conviction. Emily walked her own path in so many ways. Her life was full of joy, love, and wonder up to her passing.

In the AA tradition, I would say “I want what she’s got!” I’ve been struggling for the past few weeks – probably since I began working on the podcasts that fuel these articles. They should be really fun and easy, and it is fun and easy. And at the same time, it’s really challenging. I’ve been struggling with a sense of loss, a sense of grief and emptiness. It’s not a happy feeling. It makes me just want to lie down and ignore life.

In reading Joseph Campbell’s words, “Where there is a way or a path, it’s someone else’s way….” I realized that this is what is occurring for me. I’m beginning, again, to walk a path that is mine alone. That although there are lots of podcasters in the world, lots of information about aging on the internet, lots of dos and don’ts of how to age, I’m compelled to walk the path that is mine alone.

The way I coach, the way I live, the choices I make, is almost always self-directed, in alignment with something other than consensus reality. At the same time, I’m always wanting to do it like other people do. I want to be like everyone else, having a sense of belonging that my less than wise-self believes is true. I walked on the “tried and true” path for decades and I never felt comfortable in my own skin. What’s the point of being in my skin if I’m never feeling happy in here?! I don’t know about you, but the magnetic pull of my intuition, which always feels like inspiration and like I’m being guided by my highest-self — my highest-truth — has me taking steps on my own path. Sometimes it feels really uncomfortable. It is full of uncertainty and self-doubt, the fear of aloneness, and that inevitably I’ll die! I question whether I’m really hearing correctly, and maybe I’m making it all up. It is a dilemma! Inevitably, I experience those timely surprises as confirmations that I’m on track with my own path. Over time, it become easier, and my happiness grows exponentially! 

Here’s the deal — it’s scary to choose to follow the tried and true of our consensus reality. And it is scary to choose to walk your own path. Either way it is scary. Either way you are presented with life choices that reveal that you are at the crossroads of your awakening into self-empowerment.

So aging isn’t about aging. It is about standing in your truth, standing in your knowing, standing in your courage, standing on your path being scared and alone — sometimes — but knowing that you are given the potentiality to live a life that is unprecedented. Be extraordinary, because you are! And you are never alone!

I’m grateful that over the years my inner guru continually speaks to me in a way that I can hear. Even though I live alone with my dog Gracie, I can share with you that there is more conversation going on between me and my inner guru than if I was living with someone else. I’ve experienced more loneliness when living with others than I do living alone with Gracie and my inner guide.

So that’s it! I encourage you to be curious about how often you think about taking alternative and less worn paths but hold back from making that choice for fear of….

There’s nothing to do differently. There are no choices to make. Just noticing how you be in your everyday crossroads, how you choose what you choose will be a big enough adventure for you, until you are ready for more ease, more surprises, and more alignment with your inner guru.

And, you are never alone! For more blogs, books, videos, or if you are interested in coaching or training with Dr. Rosie, check out her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com. And her podcast can be found at aginglikeaguru.podbean.com. The book Aging Like a Guru – Who Me? and Dr. Rosie’s other books are available at Darvill’s Bookstore, the Cottage Gift Shop, and Amazon.