Space: Final frontier of aging

— from Rosie Kuhn —

Space abounds in our lives. How we choose to be with that space is a powerful choice. It doesn’t really matter what you or I choose. Each of us are on our human/spiritual journey and will make of the space of our lives as we will. The intention for these writings is to perhaps inspire curiosity about yourself, your life, the space of you being you! 

As I’m sitting, preparing to create a new podcast, which do three times a week. So far this week, I have no titles, no subjects, no particular intention in mind – not yet anyway. I realize that I’m in a space of nothingness. My thinking mind doesn’t like this. It chimes in with:  “Maybe there’s nothing to say, nothing to do. Maybe I’m done!” And in this space I begin to conjure up all kinds of thoughts that have nothing to do with the intention of creating podcasts. Thoughts of breakfast, walking Gracie, cleaning the pond filter, the weather outside – these thoughts flow out of some repository for mentalizations, and that space is no longer spacious. 

Rather than enjoying this moment of spaciousness I make myself wrong if I’m not actively participating in life mentally, physically or emotionally. The truth is, space is a very healthy space to have in one’s life. We just have to train ourselves to appreciate it rather than be afraid of it!

Space

Nothing to do, nowhere to go. It’s not apathy, boredom, depression. It’s just space! What an adventure.

Francis – 87 years old, says, “I’m scared. I find myself not caring about all the things I used to care about. What’s life about if I don’t care about anything?”

Marvin – 93 years old, says, “I’m alive, but I don’t know the point of living. I’ve got so much space in my life and nothing to fill it with.”

That fact is, life is just space filled with whatever we choose to put into that space. Mostly we fill it with thoughts – fantasies, imaginings, rationalizations, judgments…. We are always thinking stuff while we are doing whatever it is we are doing. As I’m writing this, my mind is spewing out thoughts of thoughts related to anything and everything. I have to focus on the task at hand and ignore 99% of the thoughts flying through my mind.

The point is sometimes there is just space – call it a pause; call it stillness, call it a moment of peace. Call it whatever you want. But notice that there isn’t anything wrong with you when there is this space. You are still here!

So many people train themselves to allow this space in their lives. It’s called meditation practice. Others smoke marijuana to create that space. Others take medication to alleviate themselves from mental and emotional stress while in that space. So here you are, having a moment of space without any catalysts.

As we age – especially when our bodies lose their capacity to be mobile, and we become more sedentary, we begin to fill the space of our lives with worry, which has the potential to turn into anxiousness, hopelessness, depression. We experience the powerlessness of no longer being in control of our lives the way we once were. The whole experience of living life in these human forms becomes nonsensical. Again we arrive at the point of “what’s the point?”

Aging like a guru allows us the perspective of allowing the space to be as it is – not filling it for the sake of avoiding the discomfort of space. Gurus know the space as it is, and they choose to explore that space as it is. They’ve trained themselves to relax into the space, reveling in moments where the complexity of humanness falls away, and they are free to experience just being.

Being Who? Being What?

My personal experience with being in space is that, at first, I was terrified that I would disappear. If I stopped thinking for too long I’d lose myself and my identity. The question arose: “who am I without my thoughts?” That got me curious! A more logical and intelligent question arose: “When I’m asleep, am I afraid I won’t return to myself? Do I trust enough to explore this space consciously – not just through sleep?” And so my practice began – mindfully creating space where I habitually cluttered it with mindlessness. 

I’m not a meditator. I don’t so much go seeking space as I do allow it to be when it arises. These days, I experience space more as a pause. I’ve come to appreciate the pause as a reminder: to remember who I am inside this human experience. The busyness in the world has little importance if it isn’t in service to experiencing fulfillment of our human-spirit – moments of peace within the space of being.

Space allows me to remember to rest my mind, to be in the moment and to always love what is. 

For more books, blogs and videos, and to find out more about coaching with Rosie, go to www.theparadigmshifts.com. To listen to Dr. Rosie’s Podcasts on Aging, go to aginglikeaguru.podbean.com.