Sitting At the Adult Table Not All It’s Cracked Up To Be

— by Lin McNulty, Managing Editor —

I remember when it became my turn to graduate from the kids table to the adult table for Thanksgiving dinner. I was the oldest kid, probably 12 at the time, and had been sitting with my brothers and cousins since they had each been old enough to sit upright on their own.

It wasn’t necessarily a fun thing, though, this big promotion to supposed mature-adulthood, although I’m sure I played it up so my cousins and siblings would be envious and realize how cool I was. There wasn’t much giggling and fun to be had, though; the adults didn’t think it was amusing to stick olives on your fingers and I had to make sure the napkin stayed on my lap. My ears remained focused, however, on the ruckus of the kids’ play in the next room, while the grown-ups engaged in some incredibly boring table talk.

It may have been the very next year that my cousins moved to Hawaii. My two brothers then joined me at the adult table and Thanksgiving was never the same. We had to all sit up straight and mind our manners.

The whole of us never shared another Thanksgiving dinner together, yet it remains a touchstone for each of us as we check-in at this time of year to reminisce about how memorable this yearly celebration had been to each of us. I’ve noticed over the years, however, that perhaps we bring up memories of things that might not have even happened. Or, perhaps they are still taunting me about the fun they had after I left the kids table. Yet, we all agree that each nugget is true and it really did happen that way, and that we have the best stories ever.

This year, however, there is a new life experience. My aunt passed away this year and I would now be the oldest at the adult table, the matriarch of this far-flung family. That is, if we were still gathering together to celebrate together in person.