HOT TOPIC #12 | What if empathy went viral

COVID-19 updates from San Juan County around subjects on the minds of islanders

— from Nathan Kessler-Jeffrey, Executive Artistic Director, San Juan Community Theatre —

Since the beginning of the pandemic, I’ve had friends sick. Some were able to get tested, others not so much. All of them felt the burden, like a weight on the chest, of having a potentially life-threatening illness, and the fear that they might pass it on. And as I mentioned in earlier columns, I have other friends dealing with serious health conditions who are fearful of acquiring the virus. And then there’s the noise. The noise of those ignoring the experts and not practicing social distancing. And the noise of those who are practicing social distancing, but are infuriated by the others, until the whole world — online and off — seems to resound with frustration and rage and fear.

During my undergraduate acting training, in one of our oft-quoted textbooks, I was introduced to the concept of “The Magic ‘If.'” The idea being that an actor must constantly ask themselves, ‘what if?’ ‘What if’ I had superpowers? ‘What if’ I was a lawyer, or a banker, or a farmer? ‘What if’ I were rich? Poor? Drunk? Single? Married? The list of potential ‘what ifs’ is never-ending.

So ‘what if’ empathy went viral? Hear me out–what if it were possible, during this time, for us to intentionally practice the discipline of trying to understand other people’s feelings? For some of us (not pointing any fingers, but he might be writing these words), empathy is a big challenge. If you ask anyone who knew me in high school, I’d probably
register at the top of the list of people unable to empathize with anyone. About anything. My wife is constantly telling me that I only have one rule to follow: Don’t Be a Jerk. And I’m constantly breaking the one rule!

But let’s practice for a moment. What if you were sick with COVID-19? How would you want to be treated? Talked about? What would your concerns be? I’d be concerned about my own health, but also the health of every single person in my life. I’d be fearful of being judged or second-guessed. I’d be locked in my room with someone leaving
food outside a closed door. As an extrovert, I’d be incredibly lonely.

What if your health was compromised, but you hadn’t contracted the virus? Wouldn’t you want everyone in their power to do everything possible to prevent the spread? I’d be terrified. I might be on social media demanding increased testing or travel restrictions. I’d be on edge.

What if you were healthy and unlikely to experience significant impact from COVID-19 beyond some mild flu-like symptoms? What if you had been planning for graduation all year? Or your dream trip to Europe? Or a performing arts event you’d been planning for the better part of a year…not that I’m speaking from personal experience. I’d be  disappointed.

What if you were working locally to manage the response to this crisis? And an epidemic unprecedented in modern history was coming, wave-like, toward the shores of our island paradise? Wouldn’t you want to do everything in your power to protect the largest number of people from the impact? I would. I’d feel tremendous responsibility
and guilt that I couldn’t make things better more quickly and concern that I wasn’t doing enough.

What if you were a medical provider, working to provide care during this crisis. What if you were putting your own health and safety at risk in order to support the community? I might be scared and exhausted and worried about what might come.

What if we change the narrative? What if, on these islands these jewels of the northwest, we decide to look past our hurt and our fear and do our best to understand what others are feeling? What if we forgive? What if we support? What if we include? What if we, and this is crazy, treat others the way we want to be treated? What if we make allowances–no, what if we embrace–the shared experience we’re all having?

What if we can make empathy go viral? Won’t we all feel better about how we treated one another on the other side of this thing?

Thanks. We’ll get through this together.