||| FROM EMLYN “EVE” EON, ORCAS HIGH SCHOOL FRESHMAN |||


  • It keeps Bugs out of your mouth if you are Biking or Walking
  • Keeps face warm
  • You don’t have to hide any facial expressions; it hides it for you!
  • E.g., sneer, scowl, smirk, growl, screwface, snarl, zombie-face, “my favorite character just died on TV, and that was three weeks ago, but I’m not over it” face, “I can’t wait to get home” face, “do you have the ‘Rona” face, “am I safe?” face, and “Panic & Anxiety” face.
  • Any malformations on your face, Hides them! 
  • Many people will not be able to recognize you with the right sunglasses!
  • If your grumpy, only you know that secret. 
  • If you’re in a dream and smiling while the topic, in reality, is not smile-worthy, they don’t know you’re smiling.
  • If you are a mouth breather – not me, though!
  • Hides half your face, duh!
  • If the mask mandate comes back, nothing changes in that department for ‘you.
  • If someone sprays It instead of saying it, at least ⅔ of your face is safe.
  • You can be listening to a song and lip-syncing to it, and no one is confused about what you are doing. They do not know!
  • Reason to go back into your house, “I lost my mask; I have to grab another one!”
  • Extra Safety, of course.
  • F  a  S  h  I  o  N

P.S – this might be satire!


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