Flotsam & Jetsam | A Bay by Any Other Name

— from Maurice Austin —

Farewell Squaw Bay, alas we hardly knew ye. It was certainly unfortunate to have been so mis-termed; however, how could those who initially designated you as such have known that your very name—aye, your very soul—would become objectionable?

But be content. Your re-christening (sic) as Sq’emenen Bay might just signal a movement toward greater understanding and cultural acceptance among These-Our-Post-Colonial-United-States, and a focus on that ever-fine line separating cultural appropriation from cultural misappropriation. Or it might be political correctness run amok, which is the way it usually runs, creature of habit that it is, with its funny-looking inward-pointing left foot.

Not that other place names around the islands don’t deserve a second glance—such as, perhaps, the adjacent Indian Cove, or Indian Island in Eastsound, which according to a blog post by Terri Williams (“The Lowdown on Indian Island”) was previously allegedly known as Jap Island, and before that as Victory Island. Indeed, some locales are in a constant white-washing cycle, sanitizing the maps because it’s so much easier to do than actually come to terms with the history, removing terms such as “Redman” and “Coon” and “Jim Crow” and “Negro” from local place names, and hurry, lest we trigger some outraged objection that comes with an attached lawsuit specifying damages due to, you know, reasons. And if we need to re-re-name what we previously re-named, so be it, change happens.

On Orcas Island, where the deer grow as thick as tics on a deer’s hind leg, it’s no surprise that we have a Deer Harbor and a Doe Bay, but it might be time to rethink the name of Buck Park, inasmuch as ‘buck’ is commonly used as slang not only for money (in such a case perhaps re-naming it Many Bucks Park would be appropriate) but also for a young black man—or, as popularized by John Wayne’s utterances in western films, a Native American male. Why is “squaw” getting all the attention, and “buck” none? Is this evidence of a patriarchal misogyny focused on eradicating evidence of the existence of female place-names in order to maintain cartographic gender domination in the coming century? Also: why is it always referred to as “Deadman’s Curve”, and never as “Deadwoman’s Curve”?

Recently, driving by Oso (“Spanish for bear”), I saw two deer standing in Deer Creek, which seemed fitting, somehow, as if the universe was indeed logical, and everything in its place. I didn’t stick around to meet the bear. I was on my way, after all, to Trout Lake, which was, alas, sorely mis-named, making the universe seem normal again. (I also didn’t see any French citizens standing around in French Creek, wonder where they went, maybe they were right under the Hwy 530 bridge, so I couldn’t get a glimpse.)

In North Carolina recently, a 67-year-old paddle boarder was attacked and bitten by a Beaver on…you guessed it…Beaver Lake, which will likely henceforth be known as “Rabid Beaver Lake” since the state’s Veterinary Diagnostic Laboratory in Arden confirmed rabies. Perhaps it’s wise to remain wary when visiting places named after species susceptible to rabies, such as bats, raccoons, foxes, coyotes, and skunks, or at least wary of skunks in general, whether rabid or not.

Some animal species might be deserving of un-misnomering as well. Who can tell, for example, how male Ladybugs feel about their name, or how female Sperm Whales feel about theirs?

Should we, as one citizen commented, rename the Straits of Juan de Fuca, in consideration of the LGBT community, or re-dub Cougar Mountain, as another commenter suggested, in deference to those who consider that name offensive to “sexually aggressive mature women”, or resist patriarchal misogyny by signing the initiative to scrap King County and have it officially renamed Queen County? When the Seattle City Council turned Columbus Day into Indigenous Peoples’ Day back in 2014, did they not also realize that perhaps Washington State—named after a notorious slave-owner—would eventually succumb to the same scrutiny? And that alas even Seattle itself, named after Chief Sealth—another notorious slave-owner, might one day be deemed deserving of white-washing?

So, dear, deer-filled Squaw Bay, as you enter your new identity as Sq’emenen Bay, be patient, for we will all mispronounce you, probably for a long time. And know that you have entered that glorious, culturally-exalted realm which includes similarly-termed equivalents such as the AH64 Apache Attack Helicopter, the Tomahawk Cruise Missile, did you know that Pontiac was a chief of the Ottawa Tribe, that Winnebago are a Nebraska tribe, maybe that Jeep Cherokee should be renamed, perhaps a Jeep Jesus would be a better fit, a Mercury Moses, maybe, drove my Chevy Presbyterian to the Levi perhaps, and GMC is actually making quite a solid product these days, except for the problem with the reverse gears in the Saint Peter models, go figure.

Of course, your heavenly or other non-denominational afterlife mileage may vary.