Council still on deck for climate change

||| BY STAFF REPORTER SHIN BREEM |||

“It’s all hands on deck,” said one County official as the County Council unveiled its long-awaited first draft of a proposed series of priorities to address possible approaches to final decisions about parameters for further aggressive action on climate. “When the ship is sinking fast, responsible people either go down with the ship or come up with practical solutions that balance the costs of the good against the benefits of the bad, and this proposal is real progress because we’ve decided this is going to be one of the first things we consider adding to our list of number one considerations to look at after we complete the comprehensive plan,” one county official told this reporter on condition of anonymity due to the sensitive nature of the implications.

The draft priorities, tentatively titled “Plan Action Climate,” or PAC, and first approved by the Planning Commission, looks at climate action from a new perspective. “We want to plan first, then take action, then save the climate. To call for a “climate action plan” really has it all backwards,” read the commission’s resolution which passed unanimously last year also on April 1.

The draft PAC has three priorities, explained a county staffer, who declined to be identified due to the prematurity of the plan. “The Plan’s number one priority is to decide once and for all whether voluntary steps and outreach through social media should continue to be our number one tool for achieving net zero emissions. What critics don’t understand is that every pound of carbon we emit today is a pound of carbon we can extract from the atmosphere tomorrow, and that’s what our PAC is based on.” When asked whether Orcasonians should rely on future technology instead of reducing emissions now, the staffer replied, “we have no idea what private enterprise can do so long as government gets out of the way. Lifestyle, growth, sensible emissions policies, all of the above, that’s our number one priority, all hands on deck.”

According to the draft reviewed by this reporter, the PAC’s number 2 priority is to protect once and for all the roadways for all existing and future cars and trucks, regardless of fuel. “Not only are bike lanes and pedestrian walkways incredibly expensive, this is not the time to discriminate against fuel users, all deserve to be treated equally,” argued a retail gasoline business owner. Pressed to explain further she said, “Some people think gas and petrodiesel cars and trucks cause global warming. We get it. But we need gas and diesel cars and trucks to get to town. You’re not going to have much of a planet to protect if you can’t buy gas to get to town, are you? The climate supporters completely avoid this simple question, get it?”

The PAC’s third top priority is to debate once and for all whether to include a new climate change section in the updated comprehensive plan or to adopt the comprehensive plan now and make climate add-ins later. “Better to pass a plan and massage the climate section afterwards than delay any longer,” said one former planning professional after reviewing the proposed PAC draft. “Put the plan in place, then deal with the climate. You can’t deal with the climate without having a plan in the first place.”

An elected representative agreed. “It’s not important what the comprehensive plan says about the climate. It’s what we’re doing to the climate that really makes the difference between success and failure.” She asked to remain nameless.