As the Paradigm Shifts | I don’t like being told what to do

||| AS THE PARADIGM SHIFTS by ROSIE KUHN |||

As we age, we don’t want to give up our freedom and independence, which often means that we make choices that perhaps are not necessarily in our best interest. I see a lot of people who through their aging process resist doing what they know they need to do in order to ensure that the quality of life continues for a long time. They, like me, don’t want to give up the personal power to say and do what they want, even when it creates harm to themselves and perhaps for others.

Regarding my own dilemmas, I’m noticing and discovering the logic and reason that holds my resistance in place. That’s also what I do as a thinking partner for others—helping them distinguish what thoughts, beliefs and judgments glue them to their attachments to having it their own way. At the same time, I help them see how this strategy keeps them from having what they truly say they want, such as a better quality of life and enjoying a pain free existence.

Here’s an Example: I haven’t been doing my daily energy routine, and even after only two days I can feel the effects. Damn it!!! For that matter, I’ve also resisted giving up alcohol, wheat, and sugar, even though they all create inflammation, pain, and dizziness. That’s insanity. Yet it’s how I’ve been functioning for a very long time, until I got clear that I’d rather live pain free and stop harming myself and my body. At least that’s what I say!!

I hate doing things I don’t want to do! I’ve been like this my whole life! This is probably a foundational element, not only to the way I live my life but the way I coach my clients—to fully empower them to empower themselves to act in alignment with their highest truth and their highest good. The challenge is figuring out what that highest good and highest truth is! In essence, what I’m focusing on is one’s purest intention for living every day of their lives. No biggie, right?

The simplicity of carving out 30 minutes for my exercise routine is easy. I’m not so busy that there isn’t the time. What there is, is huge amount of resistance to doing what someone tells me is good for me. I hate that!!! I know what’s good for me, and don’t need anyone to tell me what to do! So, if I know that this exercise routine is good for me, then why do I resist doing it?

What Am I Committed To?
If I asked you, as a witness, what you thought I was committed to, from what I shared above, I suspect you’d say that I’m committed to being resistant. And that I’m more committed to doing things my way on my terms, than I am to my own health and well-being. You’d be right? And, if commitments serve intentions, what would be my intention? Gulp!

My intentions are mixed. One intention is to not deprive myself of whatever it is I want, when I want it. My other intention is to figure out how to stop resisting doing what’s right for my body, mind and spirit—ME! It’s a dilemma!

Recently, when I realized that I’m fulfilled in my life but not necessarily successful. I saw the degree to which I don’t actually respect and honor my intentions to do what’s right for ME.

That was an interesting moment!

I believe this is true for a lot of us—I see it with my clients all the time. That they have an intention, yet they don’t respect themselves enough to realize that intention. Fascinating! Where is the freedom and independence in that? We can’t really be free when we don’t actually respect ourselves fully enough to choose freely!

Aging like a guru, for me, requires that I give up my attachments to doing things my way, especially when my way clearly doesn’t work. It requires that I ongoingly discover different ways to enjoy the freedom and independence to be me fulfilled and successful! As I’m seeing how I’m not acting in alignment with my highest intentions, I reveal that part of me that is contrary for no other reason than, well, just because! Or is it because….

Yes, But I’m Angry!
This contrary part of me does what she does because she’s angry. Generally, I find for myself, and my clients, that when they are angry about something, it usually has to do with having to let go of their attachments to being in control, being right, or being powerful! If the source of the anger is not uncovered, the anger stays in place, and so does resistance.

What I know is that, I can do, and have done many times already, is do whatever I want to do—like my exercise routine. And I can still feel empowered, right and in control. What makes the difference is how I’m perceiving myself as the source of control. I have to train myself to let go of my attachment to whatever has me resist what’s good for me. In essence, reveal hidden parts of myself that don’t respect ME! Sometimes it’s like an archeological dig. But well worth it!

Obviously, this isn’t easy. It means digging in to uncover the source of that anger and perhaps the fear of giving up that anger. Sometimes it’s the fear of experiencing grief. No one knows until they know. It’s a fascinating puzzle each of us are living with. My highest intention, truly, is to experience the fulfillment of my human-spirit. I want that more than I want to angrily resist giving up what I don’t want to give up. So, it’s up to me to choose what I’m going to choose—a positive quality of life or something else!

It is a simple process of asking what I want more. Then, letting go of the other. But, more importantly, it’s to uncover what makes me resist letting go of letting go.  Aging like a guru requires the surrendering of what we are afraid to let go of. I’m up for the challenge. How about you?

For more blogs, books, videos, or if you are interested in coaching or training with Dr. Rosie, check out her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com. And her podcasts can be found anywhere you listen to podcasts. The book Aging Like a Guru – Who Me? and Dr. Rosie’s other books are available at Darvill’s Bookstore, the Cottage Gift Shop, and Amazon.