As the Paradigm Shifts | Depression is so depressing

||| AS THE PARADIGM SHIFTS by ROSIE KUHN |||

While scrolling through posts on my Facebook page the other day, I came across a photo of some of my friends that was taken a couple of weeks ago. I hadn’t seen them for about 10 years, and each of them in this photo was hardly recognizable to me. Most of them are now in their early 70’s. Each had gained at least 20lbs, and each appeared to have lost the vibrancy that made them unique and attractive. 

My first response was deep sadness, as though these people were gone, died, left the planet. I experienced a sense of anguish inside, a pain, a loss, a hopelessness and powerlessness, that these beautiful beings are a tiny fraction of the spark of life they used to be. They appeared to have let go of their joie de vivre— joy of life, but to what, for what? It is as if they’d given up and quit trying. The photo could be titled, “I Don’t Want to You Can’t Make Me!”

This momentary experience of witness what to me was a visible decline in well-being, has had a deep impact on me. First of all, I can see how, if I’m not mindful, I could head in the same direction, letting go of caring about myself and my body. Second, I questioned, for myself and for all of us, what is it that allows for the decline into decrepitude to occur? Now this is all projection, mind you, but it makes sense to me that something is happening, and I want to know what that is. Inquiring minds want to know!!

Is it Mandatory for Us to Become Roly-Poly?
I saw a photo of a guy when he was 17. He was thin, strong and loved playing guitar. Today, at the age of 74, he can hardly get out of his chair. His belly is huge, and he doesn’t seem to have much to be excited about. This fellow, and those I mentioned above, stir me up—not with judgment, but again with deep sadness.

My context—the way I interpret life, says that each of us has the responsibility and capacity to care for our bodies, our hearts, our minds, and our spirits. When we get sick, it’s not because of aging—if that were the case there weren’t be any thriving people in their 80s, 90s and 100s. Science now shows how so much of our diseases are stress related and are indications that we are not in alignment with our heart’s true knowing. We are not walking our talk, maybe we aren’t
even talking our talk.

Truth is, my context of well-being isn’t the same as for the majority of individuals, especially in the U.S. Maybe, people just don’t care! As a country we rank 12th for Obesity at 36%. And we rank 29th for Depression, at 4.9%. Out of 195 countries in the world, that’s kind of sad, isn’t it? We rank last on access to health care, equity and health care outcomes, among other 11 of the wealthiest countries, and we rank at the top for mental health and stress issues. We appear to have so much capacity for fulfillment of our human-spirit, so what is up with us!!!???

I Think We Get Depressed
I don’t like using the term ‘depressed,’mostly because depression more often than not is a mixed bag of grief, powerlessness, hopelessness and unresolved stuff. It isn’t terminal, it’s rare that it is a debilitating mental disorder, and it is absolutely resolvable—not necessarily with medication, but also with presence of mind to the presence of what’s real and true within our own experience of our human existence—the stuff we don’t want to think about, talk about, or do something about.

Sometimes life sucks. Sometimes bad things happen. Sometimes our dreams don’t come true. Sometimes our hopes are taken away from us. And, given any one of these scenarios, we feel vulnerable and raw. Sometimes we have a crisis of faith, a crisis of meaning, a crisis of health. Sometimes we feel the despair, despondency, disillusionment of who we hoped we would be. More often than not we say: “I’m depressed, so just give me the pill that will make all of that go away.” Or, “Give me a beer.” “Give me some cake!” “Give me some sex!” “Just give me something so I don’t have to feel me!”

The process of being human, for most of us emphasizes the enormity of our ignored pain. Our bodies begin to create symptoms of our oppressed-suppressed emotions. Those symptoms turn into heart-disease, liver-disease, cancers, dementia and what-not. We go to doctors for treatments of our bodies, while we deny the source of our symptoms—the truths of being human, and the choices made to ignore, distract and deny “the ME and my existence” within our bodies.

It’s Simple but Not Easy
People who cure themselves of disease do so by focusing not only on their bodies, but also on their whole-being. They understand that it requires a commitment to being present to all of who they are. They return to their heart’s desire, being creative and playful. They become active again in the ways that delight the young child within. And, even just that cures most of what ails them. It’s very cool!

My very good friends in their mid-70s got themselves some e-bikes, and they each got a smart watch that informs them of how active they’ve been during their days. Over the past few weeks, I’ve delighted in the degree to which they have enlivened their lives with riding their bikes, going for picnics, smiling and enjoying themselves in ways that seemed well behind them. They changed their attitudes. They are more spontaneous, and they are having fun together as a couple.

That my friends shifted themselves to bring more joy into every day inspires me to be mindful of when I want to settle for complacency, when I want to give up on myself, when I want to ruminate in the powerless-hopeless truth that my life isn’t going to be extraordinary without my participation. I’m not about to get an e-bike or a smart watch, but I’ll continue to change my attitude and choose more mindfully of how I want to, and will be, living an extraordinary life.

I truly believe not only that life is supposed to be fun, but that life is fun. Now, to choose to make it so is totally up to me!
Bottom Line: You are in Charge of Your Own Fulfillment: Have All the FUN You are Willing to Have!

Rosie is available for coaching sessions in person and online. And, if you are interested in more of what Dr. Rosie has to offer, visit her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com. And, her books are available through Darvills, Amazon and Barnes and Noble.