April Spoof: Deer Harbor Toll Gate Installed

— from Charles Binford —

It is April 1^st 2016 in beautiful Deer Harbor, WA where the sun is shining brightly, the breezes are blowing lightly and the temperature is a mild 60 degrees.  Just the usual weather for Deer Harbor.

May it please those who call Orcas Island their home and those who are on the island for reasons nefarious or otherwise that we are delighted to finally give notice of the completion of the toll gate just at the crest of the hill a few hundred yards west of Westsound.  The reasonable toll of only $1.00 can be various items of change and tossed in the receptacle bucket or paid by swiping a valid credit or debit card.  Each swipe is a dollar so swipe only once each time you pass through the gate.  The $1.00 in quarters or the swipe will open the gate for 15 seconds so pay attention lest you get caught in the gate closing

All bonafide Deer Harbor and Environ Residents (boundaries defined in County Map of “Deer Harbor Hamlet and Environs”) have been issued a free credit card for each vehicle registered with the County to use in opening the gate for their use.  For those other than residents of Deer Harbor and Environs, an annual discounted fee (valued at 25%) access card can be purchased on line for even dollar amounts beginning at $50.00 provided voter registration, flu shots and vehicle registrations are all up to date.

All funds collected will be placed in the hands of our beloved non profit electric power  and fiber optic company.  That way we will never know exactly what they were used for.

Thanks for your attention.