— by Lin McNulty —
It wasn’t even a tight race from the start, as the Canidae species raked in a shipload of votes and greenbacks to easily outpace the lone minority candidate of the Salamandridae family.
A debate schedule for the candidates was never arranged. Newt’n was not able to yap and bark in response to questions, and the other candidates acted more like members of the Felidae family and refused to be herded.
In the end, it was Lewis who scrapped his way to the top of the dogpile with 5,844 votes. His profile:
Candidate: Lewis (Corgel)
Sponsor: Vacation Doorways
Manager: Stacey Dow
Campaign Slogan: Lewis for All Creatures Great and Small
Top Issues: Dog park expansion and fresh water bowls (and treats) at all Eastsound businesses.
Orcas Scoop: Born in Washington, the 12-year-old once lived in Alaska but eventually found his way back home to the state he loves and adopted his manager and her furry menagerie. Lewis loves everybody and everything – most importantly birthday cakes. He believes in “Equal treats for everyone!”
Unique Qualities: Lewis is short on legs but big on personality.
None of the losing candidates could be reached for comment following their embarrassing defeats. And while it may be tempting to feel sorry for Sir Isaac Newt’n with his total vote count of 1,233, it would be good to keep in mind that he was not the only candidate to not capture the top spot.
The winner, Lewis, was also not available for comment, but was seen sashaying his way home, seemingly content to go about his usual business and the dog days of summer.
Although only 2,351 votes separate the top two candidates, no recount is expected in this clear victory. With a total of $15,440 raised in all campaigns, the clear winner this election season is Children’s House.
