Aging Like a Guru | I don’t like being told what to do

— by Rosie Kuhn —

As we age, we don’t want to give up our freedom and independence, which often means that we make choices that perhaps are not in our best interest.

I see a lot of people who are aging — like all of us — who resist doing what they know they need to do in order to ensure that the quality of life continues for a long time. They, like me, don’t want to give up the personal power to say and do what they want, even when it creates harm for them and perhaps for others.

Working on my own dilemmas, discovering the logic and reason that holds the resistance in place is my practice. It’s also what I do as a thinking partner for others — helping them distinguish what thoughts, beliefs, and judgments glue them to their attachments to having it their way, yet keeping them from having what they truly say they want, such as quality of life and enjoying a pain free existence.

Here’s an example:

I haven’t been doing my daily energy routine, and even after only two days I can feel the effects. Damn it!!! I hate doing things I don’t want to do! I’ve been like this my whole life! This is probably a foundational element, not only to the way I live my life but the way I coach my clients — to fully empower themselves to empower themselves to act in alignment with their highest truth and their highest good. The challenge is figuring out what that highest good and highest truth is! The simplicity of carving out 30 minutes for my exercise routine is easy. I’m not so busy that there isn’t the time. What there is, is huge amount of resistance to doing what someone tells me is good for me. I hate that!!! I know what’s good for me!!!!!!! RAWR!

So, if I know that this exercise routine is good for me, then why do I resist doing it? For that matter, for the longest time, I resisted giving up alcohol, wheat, and sugar, even though they all create inflammation, pain, and dizziness when I drink or eat them. That’s insanity. Yet it’s how I’ve been functioning for a very long time, until I got clear that I’d rather live pain free and stop harming myself and my body. That’s smart! Jeesh! Aging like a guru, for me, requires that I give up my attachments to doing things my way, especially when my way clearly doesn’t work. Yet I continually discover ways that I still want to do things my way!

The dilemma is this: On the one hand, knowing that my exercise routine is doing good for me — as proven by the fact that not doing it brings instant negative impact, I can choose to make this something I want to do. On the other hand, I don’t want to give up the belief that I know what’s right for me, even if it’s not!

Yes, but I’m angry! There’s also an aspect within me that is angry. She wants to do, or not do, in this case, because she’s angry about something. Generally, I find for myself, and my clients, that when they are angry about something, it usually has to do with having to let go of their attachments to being in control, being right, or being powerful! If the source of the anger is not uncovered, the anger stays in place, and so does the resistance.What I know is that I can do, and have done many times already, is do whatever I want to do — like my exercise routine and still feel empowered, right and in control. What makes the difference is how I’m perceiving myself and the source of control. I have to train myself to let go of the judgment and let go of my attachment to the judgments that have me resist what is good for me. Obviously, this isn’t easy. It means digging in to uncover the source of that anger and perhaps the fear of giving up that anger. It’s a fascinating puzzle each of us are living with.

My highest priority is to experience the fulfillment of my human-spirit. I want that more than I want to angrily resist giving up what I don’t want to give up. So, it’s up to me to choose what I’m going to choose — a positive quality of life or something else!

It is a simple process of asking what I want more, then letting go of the other. But, more importantly, to uncover what makes me resist letting go of letting go. 

Aging like a guru requires the surrendering of what we are afraid to let go of. I’m up for the challenge. How about you?